Why you’ll never get what you want & how to fix that
Truth Bomb: I’ve been feeling stuck for a long time.
I’m sure you can relate if you’re reading this.
There’s so much out there saying blog X times a week, start a podcast, start a YouTube channel, send X emails to your list every week, create a course, start a membership, post to Pinterest X times a week, post to Instagram at least 1x day, create a Facebook group, stay active on social media, show up in the DMs, do Insta Stories ––on and on and on.
Well as you can see, perhaps, that’s a lot of shit to be keeping up with. #amIright?
Frankly, I don’t want to do most of those things. They just don’t resonate with me and the things I have fun doing are just hard for me to do consistently with my current schedule.
So, I’ve been listening to #allthepodcasts and I just picked up Marie Forleo’s new book Everything is Figureoutable (love it, btw!) and I’ve been punched in the gut a few times with some realizations.
Ya know, stuff “we already know” but aren’t doing anything to fix/adapt/change? Yeah, that stuff.
Because those “Ah-ha!” moments hit me in the face with a truth bomb I needed to pay attention to (yes we’re all still learning!), I wanted to make sure I could share those Ah-has with you!
Light Bulb ding #1
Jill & Josh Stanton’s “Screw the Nine to Five” podcast
My first Ah-ha moment came from The Screw as they like to call it. (Definitely check it out; they’re so much fun to listen to & definitely keep things real. Also, they curse a lot –fair warning. 😂)
WARNING: Brace yourself, because shit’s about to get real.
Jill says, you never get what you want. Yep, you heard me.
You never get what you want.
Then she explains:
You’re never just sitting on the couch watching TV thinking, ‘I’m hungry,’ but then you don’t get up and get something to eat.
You decide you’re hungry, then you go get something to eat!
Jill is saying that you don’t receive anything from just wanting something. You receive because you transitioned from wanting to doing or getting.
Basically, get clear on your desire, then you transition from wanting to performing an action that will put things in motion to get you want you want.
In other words: just wanting something will never, ever get you want you want. You have to DO something in order to effect change. 💡
Go from:
I want to win a million dollars
I want to start a business
I want to lose weight
I want to quit my job
I want to stop drinking so much, –or whatever it is
To:
buy a lotto ticket so you can have a chance to win a million dollars
apply for your LLC & start taking clients/selling products
stop buying unhealthy trigger foods or cut back your sugar intake (which increases overeating)
start looking and applying for new job opportunities
stop buying alcohol or start actively cutting back
Light Bulb ding #2
James Wedmore’s “The Mind Your Business Podcast”
My 2nd Ah-ha came from James’ metaphor during episode 195 “Are you WIRED for Success?”
He points out, and so many other successful entrepreneurs have too, that we grow up in an ‘ask permission’ environment. It starts in school where you have to ask permission to go to the bathroom, or to get up from your desk or to ask a question. You raise your hand & wait to be called on.
This mentality helps to keep order, but it also breeds followers, –not leaders (necessarily).
To pass a test, you study & memorize the material. If you pass all the tests, then you can pass the grade. You have permission to move forward because you proved you knew all the answers to that set of material and you’re ready to move on to the next grade level. Great!
You do this 12 times, minimum in most schools, from 1st to 12th grade and then you do it again if you go to college.
What this teaches us, is just reinforcing the ‘ask permission’ mentality. It’s driving home a central & underlying belief that we don’t know enough yet, and we can’t move forward until we learn everything there is to know. Until we have all the answers.
Until we, as entrepreneurs, finally understand where we’re stalling, we can’t move forward with this mentality blocking the doorway.
The fact is, being an entrepreneur doesn’t mean you have all the answers. It just doesn’t. Everything is new and we learn as we go! So if you’re waiting until you have all the answers, then you’re unlikely to ever truly get started or be successful. 🤯 #damnson
Here’s the escalator metaphor James uses for entrepreneurs:
As a kid, apparently James loved running up the escalator that’s going down, to see if he could beat it. At first he’d doing really well and then he starts slowing down because it takes SO much energy to get to the top. So much more than just using the escalator that’s already going up.
Sometimes he’d make it & sometimes he wouldn’t. It’d be so much easier if someone would just turn off the downward motion of the escalator, right?
So much of our time & energy is wasted running up the escalator, when our beliefs (whether that be the ‘ask permission’ mentality or fear of failure, or something else) are the downward force going against our forward momentum of trying to go up.
If we could just turn off or change our beliefs that are causing the block, it’d be so much easier to go up the stairs!
“When you make decisions based on your circumstances, you get to keep your circumstances.”
So, what I learned: I need to really put effort into changing my entire mindset in order to have less backward force pushing against me as I make progress.
Recap:
DO more; WISH less. There’s an old saying: ‘You can wish in one hand and shit in the other; see which hand fills up the fastest!’ Hey, I didn’t say it was a beautiful saying! 😂
Pay attention to your beliefs & work on turning off the negative ones in order to make progress & be successful. It’s not that entrepreneurs don’t have second thoughts, or that we don’t get scared of taking risks, or even that we know it all! We get imposter syndrome too. The difference between us & the person that lets those limiting beliefs stop them, is that we don’t. 🤷🏼♀️ #truthhurts
Stop waiting until you know ‘more.’ You’ll never know enough and you’ll learn what you need as you go. That’s totally okay!
Stop asking for permission. The only person you need permission from in most cases, is yourself.
If you want to hear more from these fine people, go subscribe & listen:
If any of that hit you like a ton of bricks, then give me a shout in the comments below! I’d love to hear your ah-ha moments too!
Like what I’m throwin’ down?
Plucking on your heartstrings? Give me a shout.
I’d love to help you finally get that website launched!
